Prideful Humility

"I'm the most humble person in the world" is a line so slathered in irony that no real human being could possibly utter it with a straight face. We humans do not deceive so directly, rather, we deceive in layers. We do not state out loud that we're humble, the paradox is too obvious. We illustrate how humble we are by posturing our humility indirectly.

The primary antagonist from the show The Boys, Homelander frequently gives speeches with lines like, "you guys are the real heroes, we're just glad we can help". Yet, as the audience, we know this character is the epitome of narcissism. He thinks himself a god. He flaunts his humility in everyone's faces and his fans love it.

We all have a little Homelander in us.

Popular musicians will praise their fans in the middle of a show. When a rock star says, "you guys make this all possible", the fans applaud the rock star, not themselves. The cheering audience does not see the rock star in a dimmer light but a brighter light. All the status the rock star had with the audience is maintained in full measure. What the line accomplishes is to add a humility trait to the previous composition of positive characteristics.

Christians will say things like, "It's not me but Jesus who lives inside of me". What's the effect of a statement like this? Does anyone really think less of you? The expected result of this meta-game is not for anyone to think less of you and more of Jesus, but more of you.

Social Justice people employ the same strategy when they confess to their own racism. "I'm a racist" is a lot like "I'm a sinner". It expresses "look how humble I am" without saying "look how humble I am".

When a beautiful person says they're not that beautiful - when a smart person says they're not that smart - when a moral person says they're not that moral - when a brave person says they're not that brave - I'm suspicious because I read the impact these statements have.

Are they deliberately manipulative? Of course not. They mentally feel out how these statements will be received, find that they will likely produce a positive influence on their own status, and then say them. None of it needs to be conscious at all. In fact, it's important that it remain unconscious so it's believable. We lie to ourselves in order to deceive others honestly.