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25 New Years Resolutions for 2021


1. Lose 10 pounds

2. Be a better father

3. Only drink at social gatherings

4. meditate for 10 minutes, 3 days a week

5. Be more genuine

6. Maintain a budget through a budgeting app

7. Write the first page of my first book

8. Stop poisoning the neighbor's dog

9. Play video games for no more that 8 hours a week (unless it's with kids)

10. Practice piano for 10 minutes, 3 days a week

11. Live life with no regrets

12. Win a table tennis tournament

13. Paint a picture

14. Finish editing my 3rd book

15. Stop spreading misinformation about Coronavirus

16. Wake up at 4am every day, drink a cup of water, and to the Jim

17. Learn to spell

18. Save the life of a fellow Republican

19. Break into the old ladies house again, but this time finish the job

20. Win a game of monopoly

21. Take down the Christmas tree

22. Every day call out 3 innocuous parts of life for being racist, sexist, homophobic, etc.

23. Stop spreading misinformation about election results

24. Recruit at least 3 attractive women into The Followers of the Four Gods

25. Take more walks

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